change – Page 10 – Wild Feminine Path

April 30, 2014April 12, 2022

Synchronicity Above and Below

Ring of Fire Sequence by Jia Hao — *Ring of Fire Sequence photographed by Jia Hao*

In the heavens above us, a full lunar eclipse and a solar eclipse occurred this month. I share Jia Hao’s images of this week’s solar eclipse above (link to more eclipse info). What a bizarre and amazing sight to see our sun temporarily snuffed out by the shadow of our moon!

My astrologer friends tell me that eclipses intensify and stir up whatever is going on in our lives here on planet Earth. Some believe that eclipses bring up our subconscious shadow selves to be healed. But the Cardinal Grand Cross that formed in our sky a week ago is even more unusual than an eclipse. This huge planetary cross was created by Jupiter, Pluto, Mars and Uranus; 4 planets actually lined up in a perfect cross formation in our sky this month. You can bet that I sat up and paid attention when I heard that this cross was slowly forming in our skies and would be perfectly aligned on April 23, my birthday. Yikes!

I don’t know about you, but it has definitely been a month of shakeup and shifts for me and my entire family; we moved into a new home, lived through huge job shifts, a delay in the release of my book, and weird illnesses with odd body symptoms that hang on and on… There have been so many unusual events happening in my neck of the woods that I can’t help but shake my head in wonder. And the world around me seems all stirred up too. I have been engulfed and surrounded by chaos and shakeup all month.

I can’t help but wonder what wisdom is held within this crazy, chaotic Grand Cross time for us? Shamanic astrologer Tami Brunk shares this on her web site, Astrology for Earth Renewal:

“This Cardinal Grand Cross is about a cataclysmic transformation of human culture. At its center is the heart–of our shared humanity, and each of us as individuals. The heart of Retrograde Mars in Libra on an inward journey asking the question–how do I care for both others and myself? Jupiter in Cancer asking–how can I find a home in my own heart, and nurture my family, my tribe? Pluto in Capricorn asking–how can I break down the structures and fortresses and walls that have been constructed between each human being, between masculine and feminine, between humanity and the Earth? The heart of Uranus in Aries asking–how can I awaken humanity to a New Beginning, a radical new path forward, filled with Spirit, with consciousness?”

~Tami Brunk

It seems funny now that I never paid much attention to astrology (or astronomy) when I was in my 20’s and 30’s. Back then I would read my horoscope for laughs, but the movements of the planets just didn’t seem that important to me. But over time, I’ve come to realize that the workings of the sun, moon and planets actually do have an effect on my life; I’ve experienced so many instances of shifts in my life lining up with shifts in the heavens that defied the odds of chance. And as I watch the heavens this month, the synchronicity between my life and the cyclic movements in the sky above me just gets more and more obvious.

My Celtic ancestors would laugh at how long it has taken me to accept the idea that I might actually be affected by what’s happening in the heavens. The Celts believed in the spiritual principle of “as above, so below”; what happens in the heavens is synchronized with what happens on planet Earth. The Celts actually studied how the movements in their sky affected and interacted with events on Earth. They used the synchronicity between heaven and Earth to inform and guide their lives.

I wonder why this synchrony between heaven and Earth is such a strange and foreign idea for us today? When did we lose this knowing and why?

Quantum physicists have shown that just the act of observing the inner workings of atomic particles changes the behavior of those particles. Maybe it’s not so weird and far fetched to believe that the movements of huge planets around our sun actually affect and interact with all life on Earth. Maybe, just maybe my Celtic ancestors were onto something important.

I look at everything that’s happened recently in my life and I can’t help but nod and affirm what my ancestors knew so long ago, as above, so below…

“Not just beautiful, though–the stars are like the trees in the forest,
alive and breathing. And they’re watching me.”

~Haruku Murakami

☾ ☽

October 25, 2013April 12, 2022

Lessons of the Flood

*Flooded Highway 36 in Lyons, CO*
*September 12, 2013*

I was one of the lucky ones; our house was on high ground and didn’t get damaged by the flooding in Lyons, Colorado. But my family still had to evacuate and spend a month moving between various hotels in Longmont, CO. The entire town of Lyons lost sewer, water and gas service. And it still hasn’t been restored.

A few lessons I learned from the flood:

1. Mother Nature is in charge. We humans can fool ourselves for awhile, but when push comes to shove, nature rules.

2. People are amazingly kind-hearted. I saw so much compassion and caring in Lyons in the days and weeks after the flood. My heart continues to overflow with gratitude and joy for all the acts of kindness, both big and small that I witnessed.

3. Not having a place to go home to sucks. Just this tiny taste of homelessness gave me huge compassion for people who spend months or years living in their cars or on the streets. Not having a home is truly nerve wracking.

4. I love Lyons, Colorado! The town is still a complete mess, but I want to be part of this community.

5. Stress can literally kill you. Our 3 1/2 year old male cat Raja didn’t make it through a month of being away from home. Even though he was staying with an amazing friend, Raja got so stressed that he stopped eating. Good bye, buddy! I hope you’re now hunting and sunning in cat heaven.

6. Flowing water can transform the landscape in a matter of minutes. The St Vrain river valley that I have loved and walked and photographed is now a different place.

Water does NOT submit to human control. We can dam it up, and try to stop it, but we should NEVER forget that water is born to flow. And it will continue to flow whether we humans like it or not! Water will NOT be controlled.

7. Flow never stops; Each drop of water on planet earth is on a flowing journey that never ends. This visual of the ocean’s currents, gives us a hint of just how amazing water’s flowing journey truly is:

And my own journey continues; My husband and I spent days searching for a new place to roost without any results. Then, due to the kindness of my favorite realtor, Mark Webber, we rented a great house on the edge of Lyons. This one has a septic system and well (!) AND a kick ass view:

Was this experience good? or bad? Like the old Buddhist story goes, it’s still too soon to tell…

May 15, 2013April 12, 2022

My Box

I live in a box – we all do. It may be a sacred box or a profane box… either way, it is still a box.

I have created a box or a “comfort zone” in life where I spend my days and feel safe. It is a mental box that I created from all the rules and habits that define where I live and work, who I interact with, what’s acceptable, “safe” behavior, what’s allowed in my family and my culture, what’s bad or wrong behavior, etc. And all those things that I have decided are off limits, too big or too scary to be part of my life, create the walls of my box.

Pain and Boredom as Catalysts

Ultimately my box defines how much of my true self I will share with the world. It’s very hard to be a big presence in the world if I choose to inhabit a tiny little box. But my little comfort zone of a box provides continuity and safety for me – no one wants to live in a completely unpredictable world where everything is new and unknown all the time. And my little box may be beautiful and fun for me. But as time passes my comfortable little box of a life may come to feel constrictive and limiting; I may begin to feel caged up and ache for something new.

The most amazing box can ultimately become downright painful; mine certainly did in the months before I decided to get divorced from my first husband. Or maybe I inhabit the same comfortable box for so long and come to know every corner of it so well, that I find myself bored to tears by its predictability. That was the case for several years before I chose to completely shift gears and change careers.

When I am bored or in pain, I am way more willing to stretch and embrace a little of the unknown. And I am way more likely to seek out change. I may decide to take a class, go on a trip, change jobs, start exercising, change my diet… 18 years ago I took a huge leap and got divorced – but only after aching for a change for years. I am only human; change, big change is most likely to happen when my box becomes too painful or too boring to bear for another second.

Pushing My Limits

Every shift or change I have ever made, involves expansion; I end up pushing against the limits of my old comfort zone. And like most people, I am willing to wait a long time and put up with a lot of boredom or pain before I try to change my life. It’s great to feel safe and comfortable. And change can be very uncomfortable and scary. But when my box becomes too painful or restrictive, I eventually reach an internal tipping point. Then I am willing to swallow my trepidation and make a change in my life.

With every change, I inevitably run up against my old limits; I push up against the walls of the safe and known box I’ve been living in. Or if I shift fast, I may even completely blow through the walls of my box before I realize it! When I run into, or completely blow by my old familiar limits, I feel fear – it’s not very comfortable to be outside my old box at first. And I am likely to find ways to contract again and sabotage myself. I get shaky and try to talk myself out of the shift. Or I decide I can’t handle the change or don’t know how to change. Ever insecurity of mine rears its ugly head!

Craving and Sabotaging Change

When I feel shaky, it’s natural to want to to crawl right back inside my old box; to run back to my old comfort zone, even when a huge part of me is still aching and crying out for something bigger, something more. But I’ve learned that it helps me immensely to remember that whenever I grow and expand, I will knock up against the walls of the comfortable “box” I’ve been living in. And when I do, I will feel quite vulnerable and fearful. It’s part of the process. I find it comforting to realize that I am just being human whenever I get scared and sabotage my own growth and change. I may even give myself a little slack if I can remember that all of us tend to do stupid, self-defeating things when we’re in a new world and feel off-balance and scared.

Realizing that it’s human nature to both crave and fight against change, helps me relax and give myself some grace. When I can own that part of me that fears and fights against change, I find it’s easier to pay attention and catch myself whenever I start to contract back into my safe little box. So, when I catch myself sabotaging the change and growth that I actually crave, I have a choice; I can berate and verbally beat myself up for being so dumb. I can give up and jump back in my old box and forget about every changing. Or I can try to treat myself with loving kindness; I can realize how vulnerable it feels to be outside my comfort zone. And do it anyway.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt

How I Expand and Start Living Outside My Box:

1. Breathe and pause. Look around at life outside my old comfort zone; try to explore a little. Allow myself to take baby steps into the new world outside my old box. If I push or rush myself, I only trigger more fear and confusion and upset. Eleanor Roosevelt suggests doing one thing a day, not 20! Easy does it. There is no need to muscle through all my fear and confusion at once.

2. Own my fear and shakiness and confusion. Just allow myself to FEEL it all. Try not to stuff it or run from it. Remind myself again and again that it’s completely normal to feel this way when I jump outside my old comfortable box and land in a new unknown place! Chaos, fear and confusion are normal after any change – especially at first.

3. Breathe and ask, “is this fear – or curious excitement – or both jumbled up within me?” When I ask this, I usually find that a big chunk of what I am feeling is actually excitement at being in a new place outside my box. And curious excitement is way less loaded with negative charge than fear is. 🙂

4. Do things that blow off stress and give me physical comfort; exercise, get a massage or energy work, take long soaks in the bathtub, dance. Get my body grounded and moving in my expansive new world. I have learned that as soon as I get my physical body grounded, I start to feel 1000% better.

Breathing and owning my fear and confusion at being out of my comfort zone is key for me. If I can breathe and stay with those big hairy feelings of vulnerability and exposure, then the fear dissipates. And I can slowly calm down and ground in this new space. I can feel my way into how to get comfortable and embrace my brand new, exciting and scary, more expansive box.

May 14, 2013April 12, 2022

Conscious Tidbit – Modigenous

Modern Shamanic Drum — *Modigenous Shamanic Drum*

I love what my friend Jon Crowder shares below about integrating ancient tribal traditions with our modern ways. What a potent way to honor the old and create something new that we can own and embrace on every level:

Birthing the Modern/indigenous Person

“I’ve been facilitating drumming/rhythm programs with diverse groups for about 12-15 years. The programs are rooted in indigenous ceremonial wisdom that I adapt to the modern world. Something strong has been growing in me. I experience and see how so many people respond to the drum, circle, indigenous principles adapted in a way they can connect with, etc… I’ve also been observing the growth of sustainability, green movement, etc… Spirit has been telling me that a new kind of person is being born. And, it’s not necessarily a function of age in physical reality. I believe the modern world is reconciling itself with the indigenous world. And, vice versa. Both need each other to survive. Somewhere in the middle energetically, a new kind of person is being born, who is a reconciliation of the modern and indigenous. The word that Spirit has offered me is modigenous. It’s a new word because it has to be. It’s a new kind of person that has a foot in both worlds.

How do we embrace the best of both worlds and reconcile so many seemingly conflicting energies? It’s possible and happening. A fundamental part of the process seems to be an opening to a deeper connection with the Earth, then drawing that energy into our modern lives in order to live in deeper relationship with all of life. It’s also honoring and liberating the spiritual connection that the vast majority of people have experienced with nature. And, I see ways to reframe and infuse the modern world with indigenous energy, which is happening in business, politics, religion, education, etc…

I’ve been writing about this and offering pieces to groups, but will offer more soon. It feels very important to speak about this because I see many people trying to reconcile this energy in themselves. Last, if this speaks to you, please contact me. I want to connect with more people to hear how it resonates with them.”

Blessings

~Jon Crowder, Peak Rhythms Inc.

www.peakrhythms.com

January 2, 2013April 12, 2022

Holding Space for You

I’d like to share a potent mindfulness practice with you today.

In this 10 minute exercise, I guide you through creating and holding a sacred space for yourself. Holding space is simple yet so powerful! It is about being as grounded in your bones as a mountain is to Mother Earth. And at the same time being as open and spacious as the sky, and as flowing and reflective as a lake. Relax and just play with the guided imagery…

November 29, 2012April 11, 2022

Tiny Trim Tab Ripples

When I look around me, the world appears to be quite a mess; news of fiscal cliffs, disasters and every kind of human and planetary suffering abound. I see a world teeming with negativity and fear. And many people seem to wallow in fear day after day with no way out.

If I allow myself to spiral into fear and worry, I can end up wallowing in pain and pessimism all day long. And when I get stuck in worry and fear, I can’t help myself or anyone else; my personal angst only adds more pain to the world.

I am reminded of Buckminster Fuller’s story. In his 30’s, Buckminster became quite depressed about how his life was going. He felt guilty about how much he drank and how he had neglected his family. He felt like a complete failure and thought about killing himself. But one day, he asked himself if he had truly tried. And he decided to turn the rest of his life into an experiment.

“Something hit me very hard once, thinking about what one little man could do. Think of the Queen Mary — the whole ship goes by and then comes the rudder. And there’s a tiny thing at the edge of the rudder called a trim tab. It’s a miniature rudder. Just moving the little trim tab builds a low pressure that pulls the rudder around. Takes almost no effort at all.

So I said that the little individual can be a trim tab. Society thinks it’s going right by you, that it’s left you altogether. But if you’re doing dynamic things mentally, the fact is that you can just put your foot out like that and the whole big ship of state is going to go. So I said, call me Trim Tab.”
~Buckminster Fuller

Buckminster went on to become an internationally renowned designer. He decided that he could be a little trim tab and change the course of the world. And he made a huge difference. Little ripples matter.

Yes, much of this world is a complete and utter mess. How do we stay calm and keep our equilibrium when faced with such horrible news day after day? And how can one person possibly make a difference in a world that is so messed up? What is the point in even trying?

But in every moment that we wriggle free of all that energy of worry and fear – every moment free of that tangled web, is a moment to celebrate. Every moment that we can be peaceful is a little ripple of yummy energy sent out into the world. And every little ripple of love and joy and peace that we create matters.

Remember the power of the trim tab and the little ripples it makes that turn the Queen Mary around. Little ripples of peace and joy and love and calmness matter whether we consciously realize it or not. Every little yummy ripple we create matters.

Advice to myself today: Breathe. And breathe again. Relax. And whenever possible, send a few ripples of peace or love or joy out into the world. Be a trim tab!

October 30, 2012April 11, 2022

Resistance is Futile

Change is inevitable. Nothing stays the same for very long.

I take the same trail beside the St. Vrain river almost every day, and yet it is never quite the same path two days in a row. One morning last week on the trail, I was surrounded by tree branches filled with fiery autumn leaves. A few mornings later, snow completely blanketed the flaming trees and the sights and sounds of winter engulfed me.

Life is filled with cycles and shifts. From the passing of seasons to the aging of my body, change surrounds and engulfs me. And life continues to shift and change every day, every month, every year. Grasping at the old form, resisting change, makes today hurtful rather than joyful. I learned this lesson the hard way; years ago I owned a property south of Kansas City that I loved. I adored every inch of those 3 acres – every tree, every bush, every blade of grass was special to me. The property was so significant and special that I wrote an entire book about the place (my first book, A Still Place).

And there was nothing bad or wrong about my love of that little parcel of land. The only problem was I clung to it and vowed to live in that spot until I died. Silly, silly woman! Well, life happened; I got divorced from one man and married another. I had a second baby and still I held onto that property. I refused to even think about moving. Then my husband’s job dried up and we faced a move cross-country to Chicago. And I had trouble letting go; I resisted leaving my lovely little property. But we needed to move! The only thing my resistance caused was a slow, slow house sale and a ton of pain and angst.

We eventually sold the property and moved to Chicago. I was so sad, missing my little plot of land, wishing things were different, wanting to roll back the clock and undo the move. But gradually, I let go. And when I finally stopped holding onto my past, I “woke up” and discovered that I was living in an amazing spot. I found myself LOVING this new place and my new life. All it took was letting go of the old life.

That experience left me knowing that my life is WAY less painful when I allow things to change and shift without resisting or pushing against the change. Resistance is futile! Resisting change only leads to pain and misery.

I seem to periodically have to revisit this lesson in letting go and allowing life to unfold organically. I can still make myself miserable trying to force today to look like some “perfect” day long past – or some fantasy day that I’ve never even experienced. I can be so stubborn! But when I remember that little piece of land that I adored so many years ago, I remember the value of letting go.

It’s odd; I have so many fond memories of that land south of Kansas City. 🙂 But now, I also remember all the amazing and wonderful stuff that happened to me when I let it go and moved on with my life. And you know what? Today, I live in a space that is even more amazing! And I would have never ended up here, if I hadn’t let go of that old place.

Life is a river; it keeps flowing and changing and moving. And in every moment I have a choice; I can cling to the riverbank and wear myself out trying to stay right here in this spot. I can fight and resist moving downstream. Or I can let go and allow the flow of life to take me. I can let go and trust that life can be even better around the next bend.

☾☽

Can I stop resisting and be grateful for change?

Can I let go of my urge to control and push and grasp?

Can I allow life to unfold and shift organically?

Can I just breathe and allow today to be?