My Dad passed last week. And this week I have many memories coming up about him; things he said and did, what I loved about him and also a few things I didn’t like so much. One of my favorite memories is hearing him call me Goldilocks. Goldy or Goldilocks was my Dad’s nickname for me. Even in his last days, when I would visit him, he would look up, smile and say, “It’s Goldy!” when I walked into the room.
I liked being called Goldy. No one except my dad has ever called me that. So, the nickname passes on with my dad, which is a little sad. But I had many years of being called Goldy or Goldilocks, and the name still makes me smile. Goldy actually referred to the golden blonde hair I had as a child. But Dad also used the name because he said, like Goldilocks, I would search and try out new things until I found the one that was “just right”. So true, so true! I still do that. Apparently I was picky and unwilling to settle even as a young girl. 🙂
I still search and push to find that one “just right” thing. I have found amazing houses to live in because of my constant quest for “just right”. And I love finding just the right restaurant, hiking trail, lawn chair or vacation spot. Searching for “just right” also led me to shift careers and try a lot of different jobs until I zeroed in on a profession that truly suits me. And my inner life is so much richer because of all the spiritual traditions I have explored over the years while searching for one that was just right for me.
But searching for “just right” can also be problematic. I have to be careful that my “just right” search doesn’t degenerate into a search for perfection. Yes, there is a difference between perfect and “just right”. Perfect has an obsessive-compulsive energy to it. When I get locked in perfect mode, it feels absolutely necessary to attain perfection. For example, when writing I sometimes get sucked into searching for the perfect word or phrase. And I feel compelled to keep trying and trying long after a reasonable person would quit. I can waste a ton of energy and make myself completely miserable when I fall into perfect mode.
The search for “just right” is more relaxed than perfection – there’s nothing necessary about finding “just right.” In the fairytale Goldilocks could sleep in any of those beds – she just wants to optimize her comfort! So Goldy takes a few extra minutes to try out every bed. There’s nothing OCD about it. “Just right” is about exploring all the options. “Just right” is nice to have, but not necessary.
My Dad is gone now, exploring in other realms. But while he was here with me, he taught me a lot about life and myself. I love that he found my “just right” quest interesting and amusing. Another parent might have turned this personality trait of mine into a problem. But Dad embraced me and my “just right” quirkiness. I love remembering that.
“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” ~Buddha
Joy can seem as elusive and slippery as a soap bubble.
Yet once, years ago in meditation, I realized that joy and misery lie just a hair’s width apart within my mind. The image of joy and misery just micrometers apart within me, was so clear that I startled and came out of my reverie giggling. I remember that moment in vivid detail even now years later. And I knowthat I choose whether I will feel joy or misery or something in between in this moment. And the next. And the next.
It only takes a tiny shift in the mind to move from misery into joy; a micron of a shift; just a slightly altered point of view.
Breathe. And breathe again. Deep, slow breaths that fill your lungs. And feel whatever body sensations are present now; feel the sensations that joy is hiding behind. Breathe and feel your body. Then allow joy to step out of the shadows and be here now.
Can it really be that simple? Yes. Yes!
“A human being is only breath and shadow.” ~Sophocles
Our dreams can help us heal by reconnecting us with aspects of ourselves that we have suppressed, or lost touch with. Below, I share a dream flow experience that was deeply healing for me personally. In traditional Shamanic terms, this is called a soul retrieval journey:
The Return of Mermaid Girl
“I lie in my bath, and I daydream about the power of trees in dream journeys. Suddenly, I can see my favorite tree from childhood – the one where I spent hours perched on a branch reading Nancy Drew and King Arthur stories.
In my mind, I go back to that tree on the edge of the cow pasture; I can feel the rough bark and the curve of the branch under me. I imagine myself shrinking and climbing down its roots into the earth. I spiral down the main root in my mind – seeing the dark rich soil. I go further and further down until I find myself in a huge cavern with a slow moving underground river Flowing by.
I know I have traveled this route before – it all looks so familiar. I jump into the water. I wonder about a guide and imagine dolphins – no manatees swimming with me, guiding me. we swim downstream through a series of 3 pools, each a different color.
In the last pool, I see my 7 year old self sitting on the beach with our old dachshund under her arm. I get out of the water crying, I am so happy to see her – she is mermaid girl – the part of me that KNEW she was destined to grow gills and swim away. And so she did.
I ask her to come back with me, telling her how much my life has changed. She is reluctant at first to return to this reality. She didn’t like this place much! We finally agree that she will come back and be my treasure hunter part; she will hunt for stories that I can use in my writing and in my classes. It is the perfect job for her – she adores books; myths and stories especially.
Mermaid girl and I merge energetically. I am ecstatic. I jump back in the water and swim with the manatees up through the pools to the cavern. I climb up the tree roots and fly home on eagle.”
Shamanism is the oldest spiritual practice on Earth. It has existed since the beginnings of our human tribe. Ancient cave paintings in Australia, the Americas, Europe, Asia and Africa depict Shaman performing rituals tens of thousands of years ago. “Shaman” is a Siberian word that means “one who sees in the dark”.
Throughout history there have been many different types of Shaman and practices vary from tribe to tribe. But the hallmark of every Shaman, both ancient and modern, is the ability to intuitively “see in the dark” and travel beyond this physical plane into non-ordinary reality. The Australian aborigines call non-ordinary reality the Dreamtime. The Celtic tribes of Britain referred to it as the Other World. And modern Shaman continue to use ancient methods to enter a deep meditative or trance state and see in the dark, beyond this reality.
Maintaining Balance
Shaman believed in the “web of life” long before modern theories of ecology were formulated; I consider Shaman to be the first environmentalists. From a Shamanic viewpoint, everything is alive and has a spirit; grass, pine tree, fox, flower, stone and river are all infused and flowing with spiritual essence and consciousness. To the Shaman, Mother Earth is a pulsing, flowing living system where humans are completely interwoven and interdependent with every other form of life. All of life is interconnected; any belief that humans are separate from other life forms is an illusion, according to Shaman.
One of the Shaman’s primary roles in the community was (and is) to maintain balance between the members of the tribe and all other forms of life on Earth. In indigenous cultures, Shaman performed many sacred ceremonies and spiritual rituals for the tribe in order to maintain balance; e.g. blessing every hunting expedition, divining where the tribe should settle or when to plant crops, welcoming newborn babies into the tribe, and helping the dying make their transition to spirit gracefully.
Shamanic Healing
Shamanism is also the oldest form of healing on this planet. Long before antibiotics, surgeries and heart stents, Shamanic healers journeyed into non-ordinary reality to learn about the nature of illness and help their tribe heal. And today, modern Shamanic practitioners such as myself continue to journey, seeking guidance and help with the healing of many different kinds of physical, emotional and spiritual wounds.
Shaman are said to see with their hearts, rather than logical minds. And Shamanic healing practices have a deep spiritual and emotional focus. Psychopomp, spiritual intrusion, soul retrieval, energy extraction, depossession… there are many Shamanic healing practices with odd and intimidating names. These ancient healing practices are designed to help you:
locate and release energies from your body-mind-spirit that do not belong there
regain power and other energies that are lost or stuck in your past
locate and unlock aspects of your Soul or True Self that are frozen or “lost”
Shamanic healing is very effective for understanding and healing painful or traumatic experiences. And because of the Shaman’s focus on balancing the entire web of life, Shamanic healing practices tend to be innately holistic, integrating all aspects of body, mind, heart and spirit into the healing process.
The Journey Process
A Shaman journeys in trance state in order to perform ‘divination’ and gather spiritual information about your illness and its cause. The shaman acts as a “hollow bone”, becoming a channel for healing energies and spiritual wisdom. You may travel to non-ordinary reality with the Shaman, or they may go alone. During the journey, spirit allies help the Shaman to uncover the cause of the illness. The spiritual helpers may also assist the Shaman in performing any process required for healing during the journey. The Shaman may merge with a helping spirit and/or elemental energies in order to help you heal.
When Shaman travel into Dreamtime in search of healing, they seek guidance from allies and guides in spiritual form; e.g. angels, ancestors, departed teachers – Shaman call on all sources of wisdom. And the answers may be found in non-human forms as well; a power animal or totem, a wise old tree, a flower, a gem stone or even a place of power on Mother Earth may hold wisdom that is the key to healing. In the Shamanic world, healing wisdom is found in all forms of life.
Everything is Connected Separation is an Illusion All is One
The word healing comes from the Anglo-Saxon word “haelen”, which means to be or become whole. Balance, resonate and heal are all words for the same concept.
To heal and to cure are not the same thing. You can cure or “fix” the physical body, but total healing involves the entire person – not just their physical body. Healing involves balancing and integrating a person’s thoughts, emotions, beliefs and spirit. In practice, the only difference between cure and heal may be about intent; does your doctor, healer, sage, or therapist intend to heal body, mind, heart and spirit? Or just fix your body’s symptoms?
I believe that healing involves reconnecting with what is amazing about ourselves. So I don’t focus on just stopping some symptom or pain in my ElementalFlow sessions. Flow healing is about transformation; it’s about digging in, and bringing joy and passion up to the surface . And it’s about learning how to live authentically from a space of joy. My goal is to blaze a new trail that cuts through the craziness of the world, and helps each of us find our way home.
Flow
“Healthy tissue flows with juice. A healthy person flows with joy. And a healthy life flows from one adventure to the next. Flow is at the heart of all healing and transformation.” ~Nancy Lankston
When you picture health, think wet, juicy and mobile. Imagine clean flowing fluids. Immobile, stiff body parts are signs of distress; To stay healthy, living cells require oxygen and nourishment flowing in and waste flowing out. Tissues with poor flow will eventually manifest disease in one form or another.
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Any part of your life where you are stuck in mental, emotional or spiritual discomfort or dis-ease – any place where you choose to ignore, stuff or disconnect from your discomfort will eventually create tense, stuck places in the body as well. Each unresolved issue is a potential illness in your future.
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The Poetry of Pain
Many times, pain is the only way that your body has been able to get your attention. Believe it or not, those physical and emotional pains that you are experiencing are actually your body’s way of trying to help you find your way home.
I find that at the heart of most chronic struggles, pains and illness, lies an emotional or spiritual issue that you have been ignoring or avoiding. Those issues that are too painful to face have a direct link to the chronic pains you experience in your body. As Wilhelm Reich, psychoanalyst turned bodyworker, described it, “our issues are in our tissues.” When you uncover the underlying issue or emotion and deal with it, then your symptoms will resolve.
After 25+ years in the “healing” profession, I continued to be stunned and awed by the miraculous workings of the human body. It is as though our bodies hold all the knowledge of the world’s most gifted sages and healers. The wisdom of the ages is held there within our cells. The trick is to figure out how to access all that knowledge; to decipher our body’s language.
Bodies never lie and they always know what the real problem is. The trick is to learn how to reconnect with your body’s natural language. Bodies speak in metaphor and poetry. And your body poem will be uniquely your own. Learning to read your signs is key. Chronic migraines, back pain, that trick knee; learn to listen to your body closely and you will uncover what your body is really upset about.
The Power of Belief
What you personally believe about yourself and your world dramatically influences the way you feel and how you heal. If you believe that you need surgery to repair the herniated disc in your back, then you will need surgery before your back will get better. If you believe your colds always turn into sinus infections unless you take an antibiotic, then guess what? Your next cold is quite likely to turn into a sinus infection! And if you believe that you can’t get a more fulfilling job, then you probably never will. Cling to the belief that your life can never improve and it won’t.
Rigid rules and strongly held beliefs have a huge impact on your physical health; those thoughts of “I have to do it this way”, “things won’t ever change” and “I’m not allowed to do that” actually create tense, tight places in your body where healing flow is not allowed to go. Learning to change your mind and drop rigid rules and judgmental thinking will help you heal and transform your life.
Soul Food
Your physical body needs food to survive. And your soul needs quiet contemplation or prayer. Feed your soul regularly. Your heart requires regular loving connection with other beings; human, spiritual and animal beings. Never underestimate the healing power of a friend just sitting and listening to you – or an animal cuddling with you. And don’t discount the value of playing in the grass or communing with an old tree. Healing comes in all shapes and sizes; use them all!
Follow your heart and feed your Soul regularly. And remember to feed your mind with hopeful, uplifting ideas and images. If you want to be truly happy and healthy, present your mind with joyful words and images. Perhaps watching the Kardashian sisters fight again isn’t always the best entertainment choice. 🙂
Today’s choices create tomorrow’s reality.
It’s an Inside Job
No one can change your life or your health except you. There may be a drug, a doctor, a shaman, a sound, an herb, or a specific therapy that helps you heal or shift in some way. But all healing and transformation ultimately comes from within you. Don’t expect any drug or any person to “fix” you. Find therapists and teachers who help you uncover your own sense of knowing, your own sense of yourself. And in the process, you will uncover how to heal yourself. Your path of healing and transformation will be as unique as your fingerprints. Honor yourself and follow the path that feels right to you.
Even the hardest substances on Earth were once Flow
Shell Flow
“Tree limbs spiral and flow out as they grow. And so do human limbs. The spiral flow of fluid is the magic behind all growth.”
~Nancy Lankston
Tree Flow
“Energy moves in waves. Waves move in patterns. Patterns move in rhythms. A human being is just that: energy, waves, patterns, rhythms. Nothing more. Nothing less. A dance.”
~Gabrielle Roth, (1941-2012)
Body in Flow Dancer Gabrielle Roth
“Faith does not need to push the river because faith is able to trust that there is a river. The river is flowing. We are in it.”
~Richard Rohr
Rocks in Flow
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Flow
Verb
(esp. of a liquid) Move along or out steadily and continuously in a current or stream: “from here the river flows north”.
Noun
The action or fact of moving along in a steady, continuous stream
