I Wanna Be President — The Movie

donald-trump-creative-commons-via-flickr_664871

How about a movie that examines Donald Trump’s presidential campaign  —  using lines from other movies??  Hehehe…

Opening Scene: Donald Trump is looking in a mirror, smiling and mumbling to himself…

You talking to me? You talking to me…”    (Taxi Driver)

“Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the richest one of all…”    (Snow White)

Scene: Donald Trump speaks at one of his early rallies.

What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate…”     (Cool Hand Luke)

Scene: 1st Republican Debate. The candidates insult and ridicule each other.

Wait a minute, wait a minute!  You ain’t heard nothin’ yet!…”   (The Jazz Singer)

Scene: Another Republican debate.

Mother of mercy! Is this the end of Rubio?…”    (Little Caesar)

Scene: Trump supporters shout ‘lock her up!’ and burn an effigy of Hillary Clinton outside a rally.

You are a filthy whore of Satan. Christ can’t save you. Only I can save you!…”   (Lords of Salem)

Scene: Trump vows that he will build a wall, and that Mexico will pay for it.

If I build it, rapists won’t come…”   (Field of Dreams)

Scene: Republican convention. Donald Trump wins the Republican nomination for president.

It’s alive! It’s alive!”   (Frankenstein)

Scene: Another Trump Hotel ballroom.  Rudy Giuliani is standing next to Trump  at a press conference.

Say hello to my little friend…”   (Scarface)

“He’s a good fella. He’s one of us. You understand? We were good fellas. Wise guys…”   (Good Fellas)

Scene: Chris Christie watches Trump ramble on during  a press conference.

Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into…”   (Laurel & Hardy, Another Fine Mess)

Scene: The KKK publicly endorses Donald Trump for president.

Get this straight, you corn-holin’ fucker. You tell your queer-ass nigger bosses that they ain’t never gonna find those  civil rightsers down here!…”    (Mississippi Burning)

Scene: people protest Trump’s racist and misogynistic speech.

This aggression will not stand… man!” (The Big Lebowski)

Scene:  Another Trump Hotel ballroom. Trump yells about banning Muslims from the US.  Set to the tune of

What if God was one of us?…  Just a stranger on the bus, tryin’ to make his way home…”   One of Us performed by Joan Osborne

Scene: Hillary Clinton debates Donald Trump for the first time and wipes the floor with him. Set to the tune of

I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan…”   (Enjoli Perfume Song)

“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”   (All About Eve)

Scene: Yet another Trump Hotel ballroom. Trump is on stage with running mate Pence.  Set to the tune of

Isn’t it rich?  Aren’t they a pair? Pence here at last in the spotlight.  Trump and his hair…”     Send in the Clowns performed by Judy Collins

Scene: Trump refuses to release his taxes.  Set to the tune of

If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  All day long I’d biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man…”  If I Were a Rich Man (Fiddler on the Roof) performed by Trump himself!

Scene:  A Trump speech in another Trump Hotel. Trump yells about what a mess America is.  Set to the tune of

Oh yes, we’ve got trouble, right here in River City. With a capital T and that rhymes with…”     Ya Got Trouble (Music Man) performed by Robert Preston.

Scene: Another Trump speech at another Trump Hotel. Trump talks about how smart he is.

I’m very clever! I’m the one, baby! Come on! Time to robot! I am very clever king. Tok tok tok. I am super genius. I am robot king of the monkey things…”   (Madagascar)

Scene: An audio tape of Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women’s pussies surfaces. Set to the tune of

Sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls in their satin pants…”     Aqualung performed by Jethro Tull

“In this country, you gotta make the money first.  Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the woman…”     (Scarface)

“Which of you is attracted to me?…”   (Madagascar)

As the music crescendos, the screen fills with angry Tweets from women who are outraged by Trump’s sexist comments.

Scene:  Trump calls Hillary ‘a nasty woman’ during the debate.  Set to the tune of

I’ve been a bad, bad girl. I’ve been careless  with a delicate man…”    Criminal performed by Fiona Apple.

Screen fills with an assortment of Tweets from women proclaiming themselves to be nasty.

Scene: The FBI looks at Hillary Clinton’s emails. Again.

I don’t believe the FBI currently has an investigative unit qualified to pursue the evidence in hand…”    (The X Files)

Scene:  Another Trump Hotel Ballroom.  Trumps whines that the Democrats have the entire election rigged against him.

Now Hillary’s got Paulie as a partner. Any problems, she goes to Paulie. Trouble with the bill? She can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy, she can call Paulie…”     (Good Fellas)

Scene:  A TV screen on election night. Pan away as the map of the US turns bright red across the south.  Set to the tune of

This is a man’s world.  This is a man’s world…”      It’s a Man’s World performed by James Brown

Scene: A newscaster sharing the final election results. Trump wins. Set to the tune of

It’s my country and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to…”     It’s My Party performed by Lesley Gore

Scene: A darkened city street.  Protesters gather, carrying signs and shouting “Not My President!”  Set to the tune of

You say you want a revolution? Well, you know, we all want to change the world…”     Revolution performed by The Beatles

Scene:  Hearing rumors about who Trump will pick for cabinet positions.   Set to the tune of

Send in the clowns…”    Send in the Clowns performed by Barbra Streisand

Scene:  Donald Trump sits down behind the desk in the Oval Office. He starts head-banging to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

What idiot put you in charge? You did.”  (Die Hard)

Is this a comedy?  A tragedy?  Or both?

 

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