Musings From The Trail

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An Oily Reminder

June 2, 2010 by Nancy Lankston Leave a Comment

photo by Gay, AP May 28, 2010

I watch our best and brightest engineers try and fail day after day to stop millions of gallons of crude oil from spewing into the Gulf of Mexico. I read about how many blowout prevention procedures and devices had to fail to create this disaster and I cannot decide if I want to cry, scream in rage or curl up in a fetal position and suck my thumb for the rest of the afternoon.

How arrogant we are to think we can safely pull crude oil from an oil field that is sitting miles beneath the ocean surface with “minimal risk of a toxic spill”. And now we have a toxic spill of epic proportions – the massive amount of oil spewing into the ocean boggles the mind. 20+ million gallons and counting.

No human design that attempts to manipulate and control Mother Nature is EVER failsafe. Nature kicks our skinny little human butts every time.

Remember the levees that were supposed to channel and control the Mississippi? Katrina slapped the Army Corp. of Engineers around and showed us exactly how “secure” that levee system kept New Orleans.

Remember the unsinkable Titanic and what one iceberg did to it?

Remember the nuclear power plant at Chernobyl that should have never spewed that radioactive cloud?

When are we going to learn? When are we going to stop acting like macho teenagers who think they can take on the world, do whatever they want and never get hurt?

I wonder if God might be trying to tell us something important? Like stop being such arrogant twits!!

Nature is WAY more complicated than our brains can comprehend. And humans will NEVER EVER be wise enough to actually control Nature.

Maybe we should figure out how to honor and learn from Mother Nature instead of pushing her around and trying to manipulate and control her. There is a basic level of respect for Nature that seems to be missing here.

Call me a wienie greenie or a pagan tree worshipper – whatever. But I think Mother Nature MIGHT still have a few things to teach us.

The Coming Storm

June 2, 2010 by Nancy Lankston Leave a Comment

Last week I went for a walk in the woods. There is a path near my house that I love. It winds through the woods next to an untamed year-round creek. I’m wandering down the creek path and I know a big thunderstorm is coming. I saw the storm brewing before I left home, but I love my time on this trail, so I risk a walk in the woods anyway.

I am walking and keeping an eye on the storm clouds that are rapidly building in the north sky. But I’m enjoying my walk so much that I extend it a bit, and then a bit more. I get cocky and misjudge how fast the storm is rolling in. And for my cockiness I ended up getting rained on. Not drenched, just a little damp. Just a gentle schooling from Mother Nature, thank God!

That’s how I hope to weather all the storms in my life; maybe just a little damp but not drenched and no permanent structural damage. I don’t want to end up in chaos at the epicenter of any storm – I have no desire to end up like those Japanese fishermen downwind from a broken nuclear power plant, or those folks in Joplin with no basements where the tornados decided to touch down a few weeks ago. Most of us really cannot handle being at the epicenter, can we? Most of us have no urge to fly right through the eye of the hurricane in a small metal plane. Oh yes, the epicenter is exciting and enticing. Some people love hanging out there. It whispers a siren song that I definitely hear. I’m the one walking in the woods with a thunderstorm brewing on the horizon.

This is one lesson that I have learned the hard way when doing energetic healing work. How close do I want to be to the center of the action, the center of the storm? Through years of trial and error, I have learned that I cannot stay healthy and alive if I hang out in the epicenter of a client’s healing storm. My job is to be an anchor point of calm, on the edge of the action rather than trying to ride the wild energies at the epicenter. I stay healthy and my clients do amazing healing work when I anchor and hold the edges of their dance floor. A client who is emotionally or mentally thrashing through a traumatic release or change needs a calm, deep anchor NOT a dance partner. I picture a giant old sycamore tree anchored in the earth next to this path I love. She’s a calm anchor!

I go visit Grandma Sycamore every time I walk the Mill Creek path. She’s a very cool tree. But on this particular walk, on this particular day, I notice a big chunk of bark lying behind her trunk. When I stop to examine the trunk, I see that the core of Grandma Sycamore is now decaying, rotting away. She has a huge hole at her center. Her time is almost finished here at the edge of the path. Soon she will fall and make way for new trees. I am sad to see this – I have grown to love this tree – I will miss her. She had many years here; wide and tall, majestically anchoring this piece of earth. Now her time is ending.

The same organic cycle of birth, growth and decay happens with everything in Nature. EVERY living thing – including the civilizations that man builds – springs up from the decaying earth left behind from those who came before. We are born, we grow and flourish, then decay and die out. Life on Earth is all about cycles.

Change is inevitable. And change can be very scary, like a huge thunderstorm brewing on the horizon. But If I get still and watch and listen – if I use my senses to really observe, I begin to notice that change is coming before it gets here and I can protect myself. When I slow down and look, I notice that the core of the tree is rotting long before it gets so unstable that it falls on me. In stillness I can see the change coming just like a big storm building  on the horizon.

I see a storm coming for my country. I am troubled by the chaos that the US seems to be spiraling into. A US dollar with no gold behind it, massive debt, medical treatments that make people poorer and sicker, grocery stores full of food that isn’t really food, politicians that pontificate and never really change anything – it is so easy to turn into a completely paranoid pessimist. Yet even my more rational optimistic self cannot deny the growing rot at the core of our economy, of our food supply, of our healthcare and our political structures. Beautiful proud strong Grandma Sycamore weakens with age and eventually rots at the core and falls to make way for new life. And our proud beautiful strong US culture seems ready to do the same just like the Mayans and the Romans and the European empires of earlier times. I try to remember that it’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it just is; cultures grow and flourish and then die out just like trees.

I stop and look around and see a world that has swung so far into the yang, active, doing energies. We are too active, too busy, too focused on owning and controlling everything we see. America has spent so much energy trying to conquer and master everything.  Straightening rivers, digging holes in the earth to pull out energy to burn, building more and more of the biggest vehicles and buildings in the world even though they consume energy like some giant ravenous beasts, processing the fruits of nature until they don’t even resemble fruit anymore… I could rant on and on. This country is so deep in Yang energy, it cannot seem to stop to even catch a breath!

US cities like Chicago and LA and New York feel like Yang energy on steroids to me; busy little ant humans running here and there on foot – or even more Yang yet, zooming from place to place in little metal cars and big metal planes. We get instant news and entertainment 24/7 on our TV’s and computers and iPod’s and Blackberries. Could we be less still, less receptive??

It is the nature of all organic systems to pendulum back and forth between yin and yang states, constantly seeking a balance point somewhere in the middle. And Western civilization is an organic system; civilizations seek balance and homeostasis just like our own body systems do. So a pendulum shift in this country away from yang seems obvious and inevitable to me. The obvious correction for this organic system is to pendulum back toward yin receptive quiet energies, qualities or ways of being. And the pendulum swing is inevitable; ALL organic systems do it. So I look around and know a shift is coming our way. And I also sense that this cultural shift could get quite chaotic and messy. I want to spiritually embrace and encourage this worldwide natural shift back into receptive mother yin energy. And I also want to protect my family in what could be a wild chaotic storm.

So I close with the questions that my husband and I find ourselves wrestling with this year; What can I do to help my family prepare for this storm? What can I do NOW, before the storm gets here, so that my family can emerge from storm just a little damp? How do I best help my friends and neighbors do the same?

And just as important to me; what do I want to shift towards? Even in the worst storm I have choices about what’s best for me, my family, my country. What is the new vision I want to anchor in and hold for my family, for everyone I love, for America? What seeds can I plant now so that they will sprout into life and flourish after this storm passes?

“We Have Met the Enemy and He is Us”

May 31, 2010 by Nancy Lankston Leave a Comment

Pogo Earth Day Poster by Walt Kelly 1971

I sit here sipping my favorite Chai and surfing through a pile of news from the last few days. And I come across a CNN report on a research study the links ADHD in children to common pesticides:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/05/17/pesticides.adhd/index.html

I take another sip of Chai and think about the pesticide that was sprayed all over the CORN that created the high fructose corn syrup base of my favorite Chai. Darn it! This Chai does taste good even when I know it is horrible for me. I keep waiting for a third arm to sprout out of my shoulder like one of those frogs that gets exposed to these pesticides. But I was happy to see that I still had only two arms this morning when I woke up… so far, so good…

But if the human consequences of sucking down mass quantities of food sweetened with corn syrup were that obvious, I would be freaked out enough to stop eating it immediately. And I would NEVER let my kids have it. Unfortunately the real consequence takes years to develop and we humans have VERY short attention spans (from pesticide exposure!).

The consequences of putting corn syrup in everything are way more subtle than growing an extra limb. It’s problems like ADHD or decreased fertility or increased breast and prostate cancer. And need I mention that the corn growers’ lobby will tell you that “there is no definitive research linking corn syrup ingestion to cancer”? Yeah and by the time the definitive research is done, all our kids might be sterile. Did anybody else wonder if they were seeing their kids’ future in the movie “Children of Men” or am I alone in my mommy paranoia?!

At the same time, I must admit that I’ve known for years that high fructose corn syrup is toxic crap, and yet I still WANT MY CHAI EVERY DAY! Do you think high fructose corn syrup could be both toxic AND addicting??? I’m just asking.

I’m old enough to have read Pogo comics as a kid. (I was still in diapers at the time, but I loved Pogo – LOL)
And the 1971 Earth Day Pogo comic says it so well;

We have met the enemy and he is us.

We humans are gloriously inconsistent creatures. We can create something as amazing as the Taj Mahal in Agra, India or the Apple iPhone on my desk, but we will probably end up killing off the entire human race in our quest for ever more yummy snack food.

Here and Now

December 18, 2009 by Nancy Lankston Leave a Comment

Here and now it is sunny outside

I chop carrots. Mince garlic.

Heat oil. Salivate.

Inhale the aroma.

 

Here and now I am sad inside

I grieve. Shed tears

Ponder death. 

See pain all around.

 

Here and now I sit with it all

Breathe pain. Breathe sorrow.

Breathe garlic and sun

Open to life.

Wet Mother

April 20, 2009 by Nancy Lankston Leave a Comment

There’s a message in the water, they say
Yes! I cry
She says dive in, enjoy
Love your juice
The wet messy wonder
In the flow of life.

There’s emotion in the water, they say
Yes! I cry
All tears and fears
Rage and sorrow
The entire saga is there
Within your flow.

This Earth’s all about the water, they say
Yes! I cry
Whales sing their song
A love for mother ocean
Who birthed you
And flows within still.

You are more water than solid, they say
Yes! I cry
The better to flow
Within, ride ocean’s wave
Connect with mother
Warm wet mama.
Juicy blue.

Finding Ground

October 23, 2007 by Nancy Lankston 1 Comment

Foggy Foothills
     Yesterday the dogwood tree in my yard was covered with green leaves; this morning all but two low branches are deep maroon. Amazing how fast that shift happened. Autumn has been whispering its way towards Kansas City for weeks. The wild rainstorm yesterday seems to have signaled its official arrival. The air is cooler, crisper today. And I notice leaves turning yellow, orange and maroon everywhere I look. Changes in my personal life are like that; little hints of change and subtle shifts happen that I often miss or ignore. Then, wham, a storm blows through and in the aftermath I look around surprised to see profound changes in myself or those around me.

I took a walk down the creek path this morning. The day is gorgeous; sunny with a cool wind and high wispy clouds in a bright blue sky. Jacket weather is here. Quite a contrast with yesterday’s cold gray skies and hours of torrential downpour. The heavy rains left the creek high, very high. And the storm water has noticeably altered the creek in just one day. In one spot, long hairy orange tree roots dangle in mid-air over the far curve of the creek bank. Yesterday the roots were encased in dirt; today they dangle free and unsupported. I have had days like that – I wake up to discover that the very ground I have been rooted in and attached to is suddenly gone.

Most humans are not very good at handling change and I am no exception. With change comes fear; that feeling of the world shifting out from under me, of dangling in mid-air without support is very scary. Sometimes I get stuck in that state of fear and I start to worry that problems and instability are all I have to look forward to.

I say that I believe in a benevolent God; a God who takes care of the earth and all living creatures; a God who it omnipotent and all-knowing; a God from which all of life flows. And yet when my path gets rough or the world seems dark, I have trouble trusting that God truly does know what she is doing and all is well.

Any change or shift in my life can trigger the fear. The shift can be something as simple as a change in my schedule or diet, or as profound as divorcing my first husband. The size or importance of the shift does not necessarily determine how well I cope with the change. Any shift, big or small, can be difficult.
The trees on the creek bank seemed to handle change better than I normally do. Trees instinctually know to lean away from instability and sink new roots into whatever ground is left to support them. In contrast, I flounder for days, feeling angry and off balance, bemoaning whatever changed in my life. I grieve for the support I lost. I forget to breathe and lean into the support I still have.

Trees have a visceral trust in the Universe or Earth to support them and provide for them no matter what happens. I have trouble trusting in the good of the Universe that profoundly in the midst of change. I get caught up in grieving what I have lost instead of opening to what is now possible. I forget to pray or meditate and I lose my connection to ground.

Faith and trust in the good of God is my ground, the core bedrock that won’t shift out from under me no matter what. For me, faith and trust come from cultivating my internal KNOWING sense of God as good and benevolent rather than mean or indifferent. That loving essence of God is always with me, around me, within me. I sense it when I work with clients, when I pray, when I watch children play, when I hug someone. And yet I also forget it again and again. I lose my connection to God and I flounder.

Buddhism tells me that I suffer when I cling and grasp, when I try to keep things from changing. Nothing is permanent except Buddha or God. And Christianity tells me to build my faith on the rock of Christ. Judaism implores me to trust in the Lord. Peace of mind comes from letting go and trusting that God or Buddha is in charge. Letting go and trusting in God to handle the affairs of the world is the only answer.

I find that I must tend to my trust and faith like a tender young seedling in my garden. My faith needs to soak up the sun of other people’s loving, positive energy. And then I must water it with prayer and meditation; and trust that it already knows how to grow;

I must feed my faith by actively noticing the good in people, the love in the world. Water and feed, water and feed until my tiny bit of faith and trust in the good of God grows stronger, more resilient, more certain. Water and feed my seedling again and again until one day I discover that my seedling has grown bigger and stronger and is deeply rooted in all directions. Then every little shift no longer throws me into doubt and fear. I can be as calm as the trees on the bank of the creek. I can remember that all is well.

Autumn Ramblings

September 27, 2007 by Nancy Lankston Leave a Comment

The sound of summer is the drone of cicadas rising and falling in the still hot afternoon air. Birds calling evokes spring for me; The “hello, look at me” songs that fill the treetops in April signal to me that spring has really arrived. Autumn is the crunch of dry leaves underfoot on the trail and the rustle of dying leaves overhead. And winter sounds like the relentless north wind, blowing mercilessly through the barren gray tree skeletons on the hill.

Every season has a sound for me. And a different feel in the air. Winter feels like deep, troubled sleep; tossing and turning, looking for quiet repose. Then spring arrives feeling frenetic, busy – as though there is not nearly enough time to get everything done. Summer is sleepy and abundant; the earth is resting joyfully in her aliveness. Autumn comes and I feel a slowing of the pulse as the growing cycle slows down to a whisper.

Autumn is here. Can you hear it?

I lie in bed and listen to the nighttime sounds of the autumn woods; A cricket suddenly playing a violin solo in the silence. A solitary tree frog tentatively adding to the melody. The wind whispering through the leaves overhead. Zen music for my soul.

Cool crispness fills the autumn day. And now a cool and snuggly autumn night stretches before me silent and inviting. A comforter night filled with the scent and feel of my love’s skin on mine. Synching up and exploring the nooks and crannies of each other as the crickets sing.

In the morning, there is mist in the valley. The second time this week. I look out of the kitchen window to discover that the pond no longer exists at the bottom of the hill. It has been swallowed up by a silvery shroud hugging the trees. Not a breath of wind stirs and the morning mist feels sharp and cool in my throat, just as autumn air should feel. I can see my own breath ebb and flow as I stand on the deck straining to see the pond below.

My son chatters away in the dining room right behind me. As I peer out into the clouds, his chatter recedes and fades away. Life is still and utterly serene for a brief time. A little moment of peace in the midst of my morning chaos.

The geese are in a chaos of their own this morning. Honking and flying around the pond and yard. Disturbed, excited – something is up. Is it time to head south? Are southern waters calling to them? I do not hear the call, but I see the geese’s frenzy as they circle.

It must be scary for the young geese to feel the urge to leave and not know where they will end up. Kind of like writing. And once you get there, you cannot remember quite how you managed to do it. Traversing new territory, whether by wing or by pen, must be done on faith. Take a deep breath and start.

One stroke at a time…

Published in “On the Path” November 1999

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