I’m only just beginning to learn upon whose backs
my life has been built;
whose blood has been shed for mine to live;
who has been displaced for me to stand where I stand.
Every time I learn something new,
my knees want to buckle in disgust,
in shame, guilt and shock for the nameless horrors
that have become the raw silk from which we have sewn
our flags and our sashes.
I read on
I watch on
I listen on
I pray on,
determined like a madwoman
drinking glass after glass of hope
slurring speech and singing obnoxiously loud
in praise of life,
for even as we walk streets paved with bones of the deceased,
our hands carry seeds for another time,
and even if it takes fifteen generations for them to flower and fruit
I want my bones to pave those roads
our great great great great grandchildren can walk
barefoot, hand in hand, singing songs that tell
of the names and stories of the plants, people,
and animals they belong to,
knowing too the blood that has been shed for them to arrive
in a land worth descending from, one beyond my imagination…
…I want this so badly.
I barely know where to begin,
From the Great Council of the Grandmothers, November 12, 2016:
“The time you are living in is called the age of destruction – the Kali Yuga. It is the lowest point. At this time evil rises to the surface to be destroyed. This dark-age takes place just before the arrival of the incoming Golden Age, so today you are watching out-of-balance Yang energy creating destruction all over your planet. This IS the Kali Yuga. This is what is happening on earth now and because it is, you must learn to cope with this energy. You cannot reason with it because it is entirely destructive. Instead, you must hold steady within yourself and observe its wild behavior from a position of power. If you do this, it will not be able to feed on you. Your steadiness will help contain its rapacious energy and it will not be able to do as much damage as it would otherwise.
Call on the Net of Light and hold Sacred Space. Be mindful of who you are!
You are here on earth to occupy a steady place in an unsteady world. At this time reach out to one another in service. Many are suffering now. Feed the hungry, visit people in hospitals and prisons, provide shoes to those who need them, help the animals. If each of you plunges into one activity of service, together you will do great good, turning many hearts to light. Find a service project for yourself. We ask this of you because we know who you are. You are our hands and hearts on earth.”
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning.
You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up.
And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
~Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum