“We must remember that the feminine works in a non-linear fashion, so while many are impatiently looking to new-age checklists and dream dictionaries for a bottom-line, the final answer, they rarely find anything enduring. This is because there is a greater genius at work which we could never integrate all at once. Instead we must follow a mysterious and melodic trail, which lures us deeper into the unknown, fortifying our trust in that which is parenting us. One day, sometimes years down the line, we finally understand how the symphony resolves itself.”
This is the solstice, the still point of the sun, its cusp and midnight, the year’s threshold and unlocking, where the past lets go of and becomes the future; the place of caught breath, the door of a vanished house left ajar…
A poem for our times from Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes:
–When someone says, “We’re saying the same thing.” Say, “We are not saying the same thing.”
–When someone says, “Don’t question, just have faith.” Say, “I am questioning, vato, and I have supreme faith in what I think.”
–When someone says, “Don’t defy my authority.” Say, “There is a higher authority that I follow.”
–When someone says, “Your ideas are seductive.” Say, “No, my ideas are not seductive, they are substantial.”
–When someone says, “Your ideas are dangerous.” Say, “Yes, my ideas are dangerous, and why are you so afraid hombre o mujer? ”
–When it is said, “It’s just not done.” Say, “It will be done.”
–When it is said, “It is immature.” Say, “All life begins small and must be allowed to grow.”
–When it is said, “It’s not thought out.” Say, “It is well thought out.”
–When they say, “You’re over-reacting.” Say, “You’re under-reacting, vato.”
–When they say, “You’re being emotional.” Say, “Of course I have well placed emotions, and by the way, what happened to yours?”
–When they say, “You’re not making any sense.” Say, “I don’t make sense, I am the sense.”
–When they say, “I can’t understand you when you’re crying.” Say, “Make no mistake, I can weep and be fierce at the same time.”
–When they say, “I cant understand you when you’re being so angry.” Say. “You couldn’t hear me when I was being nice, or sweet or silent, either.”
–When someone says, “You’re missing the point.” Say, “I’m not missing the point, but you seem to be missing my point — What are you so afraid of?”
–When someone says, “You are breaking the rules.” Say, “Yes, I am breaking the rules.”
–When someone says, “That’s not practical.” Say, “It’s practically a done deal, thank you very much.”
–When it is said, “No one will do it, believe you, or follow it.” Say, “I will do it, I will believe in it, and in time, the world may well follow it.”
— When it is said, “No one wants to listen to that.” Say, “I know you have a hard time listening to that.”
–When it is said, “It’s a closed system, you cant change it.” Say, “I’m going to knock twice and if there is no answer, then I am going to blow the doors off that system and it will change.”
–When it is said, “They’ll ignore you.” Say, “They won’t ignore me and the hundreds of thousands who stand with me.”
–When they say, “It’s already been done.” Say, “It’s not been done well enough.”
— When they say, “It’s not yet time.” Say, “It’s way past time.”
–When they say, “It’s not the right day, right month, right year.” Tell them, “The right year was last year, and the right month was last month, and the right day was yesterday, and you’re running behind schedule, vato, and what in the name of God and all that is holy are you going to do about it?”
–When they say, “Who do you think you are?” — tell them … tell them who you are, and don’t hold back.
–When they say, “I put up with it, you’ll have to put up with it too.” Say, “No, no, no, no.”
–When they say, “I’ve suffered a long time and you’ll have to suffer too.” Say, “No, no, no, no.”
–When they say, “You’re an incorrigible, defiant, hard to get along with, unreasonable woman … ” Say, “Yes, yes, yes, yes …
and I have worse news for you yet — we are teaching our daughters, and our mothers, and our sisters … we are teaching our sons, and our fathers, and our brothers, to be just like us.”
For many of us, this may be the first time in our lives that we have felt so little control over our own destiny and the destiny of those we love. This lack of control initially feels like a loss, a humiliation, a stepping backward, an undesired vulnerability. However, recognizing our lack of control is a universal starting point for a serious spiritual walk towards wisdom and truth.
To be in control of one’s destiny, job, or finances is nearly an unquestionable moral value in Western society. The popular phrase “take control of your life” even sounds mature and spiritual. It is the fundamental message of nearly every self-help book. On a practical level, it is true, but not on the big level. Our bodies, our souls, and especially our failures teach us this as we get older. We are clearly not in control, as this pandemic is now teaching the whole planet.
Learning that we are not in control situates us correctly in the universe. If we are to feel at home in this world, we have to come to know that we are not steering this ship. That teaching is found in the mystical writings of all religions. Mystics know they are being guided, and their reliance upon that guidance is precisely what allows their journey to happen. We cannot understand that joy and release unless we’ve have been there and experienced the freedom for ourselves.
When I say the feminine, I don’t mean gender. I mean the feminine principle that is living—or suppressed—in both men and women. The feminine principle attempts to relate. Instead of breaking things off into parts, it says, Where are we alike? How can we connect? Where is the love? Can you listen to me? Can you really hear what I am saying? Can you see me? Do you care whether you see me or not?
Now, these are very serious questions. And the feminine is difficult to talk about because so few people have experienced it. The feminine is presence, and relatedness, and a heart that can open so that when you meet another person you actually are seeing that person’s authentic self. What meaning does human life have if nobody has ever seen you?
… The great work of our time is to bring the feminine into this culture. And it’s not an easy path. How does each one of us contribute? Believe it or not, it’s done in the most personal ways. Take time to listen to your dreams, to write them down. Take time to recognise that there are things going on within you that need to be felt, or said, or lived, or grieved. Pay attention to these things both in yourself and in the people in your life. Pay attention to the authentic self.
We locked up our wisdom into our bones And swallowed the keys They sank in our rivers of blood And we forgot the maps Because we had to forget the mysteries To keep them safe.
We wove our hair into brooms And swept over our paths And then burned the earth with our rage We didn’t teach our children It was the only way to protect them, we thought.
But in them we planted seeds, seeds and keys And told them stories and riddles and songs With no roots, just tangled threads That would take years to unwind Just enough time For the rains to fall again And put out the fires.
For the dams to break For the rivers to flood For the paths to be walked again For the soil to breathe.
And as the old bones crumble Deep beneath the rubble, We find we’ve always had the keys. Our stories and our maps Our paths are revealed to some And the seeds grow again. The threads are unspun And woven again
