Nancy Lankston
“Wherever I stand, I hear the trees petition.” –William Stafford
Patterns
I think of how the rain
is washing life away.
How do I know what life
has in store for me?
It is strange that I cannot
figure out the pattern.
The trees are so perfect,
they know how to grow.
— Leticia Gray
This amazing poem is from Salting the Ocean; 100 Poems by Young Poets.
Poems in the book were selected by Naomi Shihab Nye.
All the poets were schoolkids in grades 1-12 when they wrote their poems.
Joy spontaneously flows in us, as us, from us
When we remember how AMAZING we truly are.
Can we allow ourselves to BE that space of flowing joy?
What will it take for each of us to relax into Being Joy?
What will it take for us to live from that place of flowing joy?
How much joy can we embody and share with the world?
If your answer is YES, please join me by phone from wherever you find yourself on September 13 and / or September 20th.
Let’s explore remembering who we truly are! Let’s explore being pure joy!
What: Being the Joy of You Tele Call Series
When: Thursday September 13th and September 20th, 2012. Attend one or both calls – your choice.
Where: Phone in from Any Town, Anywhere
Cost: $19, includes both Tele Calls on Sept. 13 and Sept. 20
✧✧✧
Contact me if you want to be part of this Joy thing: nancy@nancylankston.com
The trees are whispering to me,
reminding me of my roots, and my reach
… shhhhhh…
can you hear them?
Selflessly sharing their subtle song
~Jeb Dickerson
hours of forgetting
then a flash of sunlight
wind ruffles wet flesh
awash in sensation
heart stills, time stops
and I open myself
to this
falling awake
to sun and bone
wind on water
I am here
all here in
sacred space
☾☽
I spent a lot of time with my dad this weekend. Dad is 85 and lives in a locked nursing home unit. He is locked in because my mom is fading away with Alzheimer’s, and my dad cannot wrap his head around the idea of letting her go. Dad literally cannot conceive of allowing her to go without him. He has had multiple strokes as his body-mind fights against the inevitable.
Dad obsesses about my mom’s deterioration, he yells at her and even smacks her because she no longer knows who he is. All this craziness from a calm, gentle soul who adores his wife. This from a man who rarely raised his voice before my mom got sick. Now Dad tries to guard my mom. He constantly worries that someone on the nursing home staff will hurt her or kill her. His behavior has gotten so bad, that my siblings and I reluctantly moved him to a locked unit. Now Dad rarely gets to see the love of his life.
This move has been another heartbreak for Dad. And it is heartbreaking for me to watch. Now that he’s separated from my mom, he is rapidly deteriorating physically. This man who never took medications and was always strong and tough as nails is fading fast now that his last job – the job of protecting his wife – has ended.
I sat with my dad as he slept this weekend. I watched him sleep and thought about everything that he has been through. My dad is strong willed and tenacious; he doesn’t give up easily. As a young man, he pushed and worked and became the first person in his family to go to college. Then he pushed and he worked and he became an award winning engineer with patents in his name. He pushed and he worked and he went much further than his parents every dreamed was possible for him. And then life threw something at him that only got worse when he pushed against it. Life threw something at him that demanded surrender and allowance.
I have not seen my dad for about 6 weeks, and there has been a big shift in his appearance and his behavior; he has transformed in just a few short weeks. He has stopped trying to halt my mom’s deterioration. He has finally stopped pushing. He has let go. I sat and looked at my dad’s body that has aged so much in just a few weeks. I sat with Dad and watched his peaceful face as he slept. I sat with Dad and I knew that he will soon let go completely and leave this body and this life that had become so painful for him. I sat with my dad and I cheered him on; YES! Let go, Dad. Surrender. Allow life to be however it is. Let go and leave all the pain behind.
This could be a story about the pain of love lost or the harsh realities of aging and dying in America today. My Dad’s past few years have overflowed with both of those things. But for me, this is a lesson in how life can deteriorate into pain and pure misery if I grasp at it and try to hold it still. My Dad’s story teaches me what can happen if I resist and refuse to flow with whatever life throws at me. It’s a lesson about how I can create huge problems and pain when I resist the change that is an inevitable part of life.
I love you, Dad. Leave this painful place. Let go and go. I will miss you so AND it’s OK to go now. Safe travels, Dad.
“May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children.”
~Rainier Maria Rilke
When I get impatient with myself or the world, I try to pause long enough to remember the river, the flow of the river that I love so much. When life does not instantly present me with the exact and perfect outcome – the perfect and glorious outcome I had all planned out in my head in excruciating detail – at those times, I try to remember to just breathe and flow with how things ARE, rather than how I wish they would be.
Resistance is futile; life is NEVER perfect. And life unfolds in its own wild and wonderful way, no matter how hard I kick and scream and struggle and fight against what IS, trying desperately to get the exact future I had imagined and dreamed of.
Sit and breathe. And breathe some more…
until I can stop whining and fighting against what is unfolding right here and now in front of me.
How horrible to miss out on today because it doesn’t look exactly like my dream of it yesterday!
Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”
~Virginia Satir