Notes From The Trail – Page 58 – Notes From The Trail

June 9, 2013January 14, 2025

Feminine Wisdom of Creation

Saraswati Painting by Durgada Krishnappa — *Saraswati by Durgada Krishnappa*

Saraswati, the Wise and Flowing One

In the beginning there was chaos. The Universe was in a formless, fluid state. “How do I bring order to this chaos?” asked Brahma. “With Knowledge,” replied Devi as she emerged from Brahma’s mouth riding a swan as the Goddess Saraswati, holding sacred texts in one hand and a stringed instrument in the other.

Under Saraswati’s tutelage Brahma acquired the ability to sense, think, comprehend and communicate. He began looking upon chaos with eyes of wisdom and thus saw the beautiful possibilities that lay before him. Brahma discovered the melody of mantras in the cacophony of chaos.

With Saraswati’s Wisdom, Brahma Learned How to Create the World

The sound of mantras filled the Universe with vital energy and everything began to form: the sky dotted with stars rose to form the heavens; the sea sank into the abyss below, the earth stood in between. The sun rose and set, the moon waxed and waned, the tide flowed and ebbed. Seasons changed, seeds germinated, plants bloomed and withered to the new rhythms of life.

Saraswati was the first being in Brahma’s world. And Brahma began to look upon her with eyes of desire. Brahma could not control his desire and his infatuation for the lovely Goddess grew. He gave himself four heads facing every direction so that he could always be able to feast his eyes on Saraswati.

Saraswati moved away from Brahma, taking the form of a cow. Brahma turned into a bull and followed her. Then Saraswati changed into a mare and Brahma gave chase as a horse. Every time Saraswati turned into a bird or a beast, Brahma followed her as the corresponding male animal, thus giving life to all the creatures on earth.

Saraswati is commonly shown seated on a white swan, flowing calmly down the river of life. She is the Goddess of creativity, wisdom and the arts.

June 7, 2013January 17, 2025

Creating the World

In honor of the Creative new moon in airy Gemini tomorrow, I’d like to share one of my favorite creation myths. This one is from the Hindu tradition:

Before this time and this universe began, there was no heaven, no earth and no space between. A vast dark ocean washed upon the shores of nothingness in the void. A giant cobra floated on the waters. Asleep within its endless coils lay the Lord Vishnu. This great blue God slept and was watched over by the mighty serpent. Everything was so peaceful and silent that Vishnu slept undisturbed. Then, from the depths of the waters, a humming sound began; Ohm. The sound of Ohm grew and spread, filling the ocean with throbbing, pulsing energy.

Night ended, and Vishnu awoke. As the dawn began to break, a magnificent lotus flower grew out of Vishnu’s navel. In the middle of the blossom sat Vishnu’s servant, Brahma. He awaited Vishnu’s command.

Vishnu said, ‘It is time to begin.’ Brahma bowed and Vishnu ordered him to create the world. A wind swept over the ocean and Vishnu vanished, along with his serpent protector.

Brahma remained in the lotus flower, floating and tossing on the sea. He lifted up his arms and calmed the wind and the ocean.

Then Brahma split the lotus flower into three. He stretched one part into the heavens. He made another part into the earth. With the third part of the flower he created the skies.

The earth was bare, so Brahma created flowers, trees, grasses and plants of all shapes and sizes. And he created all kinds of animals to live on the land; birds, insects, mammals and fish. The world was soon rumbling with life and the air was filled with the sounds of Brahma’s creation.

It is said that this Universe will continue to exist until Vishnu closes his eyes to sleep again.

May 29, 2013January 17, 2025

Shadows and Joy

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.
When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”
~Buddha

Joy can seem as elusive and slippery as a soap bubble.

Yet once, years ago in meditation, I realized that joy and misery lie just a hair’s width apart within my mind. The image of joy and misery just micrometers apart within me, was so clear that I startled and came out of my reverie giggling. I remember that moment in vivid detail even now years later. And I know that I choose whether I will feel joy or misery or something in between in this moment. And the next. And the next.

It only takes a tiny shift in the mind to move from misery into joy; a micron of a shift; just a slightly altered point of view.

Breathe. And breathe again. Deep, slow breaths that fill your lungs. And feel whatever body sensations are present now; feel the sensations that joy is hiding behind. Breathe and feel your body. Then allow joy to step out of the shadows and be here now.

Can it really be that simple? Yes. Yes!

“A human being is only breath and shadow.”
~Sophocles

☯

May 23, 2013January 17, 2025

Seeing the World with Sacred Eyes

“The way we see the world shapes the way we treat it.
If a mountain is a deity, not a pile of ore; if a river is one of the veins of the land, not potential irrigation water; if a forest is a sacred grove, not timber; if other species are biological kin, not resources; or if the planet is our mother, not an opportunity – then we will treat each other with greater respect. Thus is the challenge, to look at the world from a different perspective.”

~David Suzuki

☾ ☽

I climbed up Buffalo Ridge yesterday. I nicknamed this ridge that shelters our home to the southeast Buffalo Ridge months ago – it just has the energy of buffalo roaming free for me. Well, yesterday I climbed to the top of Buffalo Ridge. And now, as I stare out my window at that ridge, it looks completely different to me. Maybe it’s because I’ve been talking about climbing this ridge for 2 years and I FINALLY did it! Yes, that’s part of the change.

But my internal shift involves more than just accomplishing something that I set out to do; Buffalo Ridge is now known to me in a completely different way. I have an intimate relationship with this ridge now; I look at Buffalo Ridge and see the rocks I scrambled over to reach the very top. And I see the circle of old pines that I sat beneath and rested. I remember startling the deer that were bedded down on its slope in the heat of mid-day. And I remember all the cactus just on the verge of blooming as well as the little white flowers already in full bloom.

Today I look out the window and I don’t see a ridge that I climbed. Instead I see an ally that watches over my home and neighborhood. I see a friend who shared some beautiful secrets with me. I am connected to Buffalo Ridge in a new way, and it will never again look like ‘just a hill’ to me!

May 15, 2013January 17, 2025

My Box

I live in a box – we all do. It may be a sacred box or a profane box… either way, it is still a box.

I have created a box or a “comfort zone” in life where I spend my days and feel safe. It is a mental box that I created from all the rules and habits that define where I live and work, who I interact with, what’s acceptable, “safe” behavior, what’s allowed in my family and my culture, what’s bad or wrong behavior, etc. And all those things that I have decided are off limits, too big or too scary to be part of my life, create the walls of my box.

Pain and Boredom as Catalysts

Ultimately my box defines how much of my true self I will share with the world. It’s very hard to be a big presence in the world if I choose to inhabit a tiny little box. But my little comfort zone of a box provides continuity and safety for me – no one wants to live in a completely unpredictable world where everything is new and unknown all the time. And my little box may be beautiful and fun for me. But as time passes my comfortable little box of a life may come to feel constrictive and limiting; I may begin to feel caged up and ache for something new.

The most amazing box can ultimately become downright painful; mine certainly did in the months before I decided to get divorced from my first husband. Or maybe I inhabit the same comfortable box for so long and come to know every corner of it so well, that I find myself bored to tears by its predictability. That was the case for several years before I chose to completely shift gears and change careers.

When I am bored or in pain, I am way more willing to stretch and embrace a little of the unknown. And I am way more likely to seek out change. I may decide to take a class, go on a trip, change jobs, start exercising, change my diet… 18 years ago I took a huge leap and got divorced – but only after aching for a change for years. I am only human; change, big change is most likely to happen when my box becomes too painful or too boring to bear for another second.

Pushing My Limits

Every shift or change I have ever made, involves expansion; I end up pushing against the limits of my old comfort zone. And like most people, I am willing to wait a long time and put up with a lot of boredom or pain before I try to change my life. It’s great to feel safe and comfortable. And change can be very uncomfortable and scary. But when my box becomes too painful or restrictive, I eventually reach an internal tipping point. Then I am willing to swallow my trepidation and make a change in my life.

With every change, I inevitably run up against my old limits; I push up against the walls of the safe and known box I’ve been living in. Or if I shift fast, I may even completely blow through the walls of my box before I realize it! When I run into, or completely blow by my old familiar limits, I feel fear – it’s not very comfortable to be outside my old box at first. And I am likely to find ways to contract again and sabotage myself. I get shaky and try to talk myself out of the shift. Or I decide I can’t handle the change or don’t know how to change. Ever insecurity of mine rears its ugly head!

Craving and Sabotaging Change

When I feel shaky, it’s natural to want to to crawl right back inside my old box; to run back to my old comfort zone, even when a huge part of me is still aching and crying out for something bigger, something more. But I’ve learned that it helps me immensely to remember that whenever I grow and expand, I will knock up against the walls of the comfortable “box” I’ve been living in. And when I do, I will feel quite vulnerable and fearful. It’s part of the process. I find it comforting to realize that I am just being human whenever I get scared and sabotage my own growth and change. I may even give myself a little slack if I can remember that all of us tend to do stupid, self-defeating things when we’re in a new world and feel off-balance and scared.

Realizing that it’s human nature to both crave and fight against change, helps me relax and give myself some grace. When I can own that part of me that fears and fights against change, I find it’s easier to pay attention and catch myself whenever I start to contract back into my safe little box. So, when I catch myself sabotaging the change and growth that I actually crave, I have a choice; I can berate and verbally beat myself up for being so dumb. I can give up and jump back in my old box and forget about every changing. Or I can try to treat myself with loving kindness; I can realize how vulnerable it feels to be outside my comfort zone. And do it anyway.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt

How I Expand and Start Living Outside My Box:

1. Breathe and pause. Look around at life outside my old comfort zone; try to explore a little. Allow myself to take baby steps into the new world outside my old box. If I push or rush myself, I only trigger more fear and confusion and upset. Eleanor Roosevelt suggests doing one thing a day, not 20! Easy does it. There is no need to muscle through all my fear and confusion at once.

2. Own my fear and shakiness and confusion. Just allow myself to FEEL it all. Try not to stuff it or run from it. Remind myself again and again that it’s completely normal to feel this way when I jump outside my old comfortable box and land in a new unknown place! Chaos, fear and confusion are normal after any change – especially at first.

3. Breathe and ask, “is this fear – or curious excitement – or both jumbled up within me?” When I ask this, I usually find that a big chunk of what I am feeling is actually excitement at being in a new place outside my box. And curious excitement is way less loaded with negative charge than fear is. 🙂

4. Do things that blow off stress and give me physical comfort; exercise, get a massage or energy work, take long soaks in the bathtub, dance. Get my body grounded and moving in my expansive new world. I have learned that as soon as I get my physical body grounded, I start to feel 1000% better.

Breathing and owning my fear and confusion at being out of my comfort zone is key for me. If I can breathe and stay with those big hairy feelings of vulnerability and exposure, then the fear dissipates. And I can slowly calm down and ground in this new space. I can feel my way into how to get comfortable and embrace my brand new, exciting and scary, more expansive box.

May 14, 2013January 17, 2025

Conscious Tidbit – Modigenous

Modern Shamanic Drum — *Modigenous Shamanic Drum*

I love what my friend Jon Crowder shares below about integrating ancient tribal traditions with our modern ways. What a potent way to honor the old and create something new that we can own and embrace on every level:

Birthing the Modern/indigenous Person

“I’ve been facilitating drumming/rhythm programs with diverse groups for about 12-15 years. The programs are rooted in indigenous ceremonial wisdom that I adapt to the modern world. Something strong has been growing in me. I experience and see how so many people respond to the drum, circle, indigenous principles adapted in a way they can connect with, etc… I’ve also been observing the growth of sustainability, green movement, etc… Spirit has been telling me that a new kind of person is being born. And, it’s not necessarily a function of age in physical reality. I believe the modern world is reconciling itself with the indigenous world. And, vice versa. Both need each other to survive. Somewhere in the middle energetically, a new kind of person is being born, who is a reconciliation of the modern and indigenous. The word that Spirit has offered me is modigenous. It’s a new word because it has to be. It’s a new kind of person that has a foot in both worlds.

How do we embrace the best of both worlds and reconcile so many seemingly conflicting energies? It’s possible and happening. A fundamental part of the process seems to be an opening to a deeper connection with the Earth, then drawing that energy into our modern lives in order to live in deeper relationship with all of life. It’s also honoring and liberating the spiritual connection that the vast majority of people have experienced with nature. And, I see ways to reframe and infuse the modern world with indigenous energy, which is happening in business, politics, religion, education, etc…

I’ve been writing about this and offering pieces to groups, but will offer more soon. It feels very important to speak about this because I see many people trying to reconcile this energy in themselves. Last, if this speaks to you, please contact me. I want to connect with more people to hear how it resonates with them.”

Blessings

~Jon Crowder, Peak Rhythms Inc.

www.peakrhythms.com

May 9, 2013January 17, 2025

Dream Flow Experience

Our dreams can help us heal by reconnecting us with aspects of ourselves that we have suppressed, or lost touch with. Below, I share a dream flow experience that was deeply healing for me personally. In traditional Shamanic terms, this is called a soul retrieval journey:

The Return of Mermaid Girl

“I lie in my bath, and I daydream about the power of trees in dream journeys. Suddenly, I can see my favorite tree from childhood – the one where I spent hours perched on a branch reading Nancy Drew and King Arthur stories.

In my mind, I go back to that tree on the edge of the cow pasture; I can feel the rough bark and the curve of the branch under me. I imagine myself shrinking and climbing down its roots into the earth. I spiral down the main root in my mind – seeing the dark rich soil. I go further and further down until I find myself in a huge cavern with a slow moving underground river Flowing by.

I know I have traveled this route before – it all looks so familiar. I jump into the water. I wonder about a guide and imagine dolphins – no manatees swimming with me, guiding me. we swim downstream through a series of 3 pools, each a different color.

In the last pool, I see my 7 year old self sitting on the beach with our old dachshund under her arm. I get out of the water crying, I am so happy to see her – she is mermaid girl – the part of me that KNEW she was destined to grow gills and swim away. And so she did.

I ask her to come back with me, telling her how much my life has changed. She is reluctant at first to return to this reality. She didn’t like this place much! We finally agree that she will come back and be my treasure hunter part; she will hunt for stories that I can use in my writing and in my classes. It is the perfect job for her – she adores books; myths and stories especially.

Mermaid girl and I merge energetically. I am ecstatic. I jump back in the water and swim with the manatees up through the pools to the cavern. I climb up the tree roots and fly home on eagle.”