Category: Advice to Myself

Here’s a powerful practice from Ann Weiser Cornell to shift your experience with your inner critics so you feel relaxed instead of undermined. 

Let’s try it…

1. Pause: Take a moment to settle into your body. Feel your feet. Feel your seat. Allow yourself to arrive in the inner area of your body, throat, chest, stomach, and below. Remember a time when something in you said critical things to you. Maybe something like, “What makes you think you can do this?”
2. Acknowledge: When you find your inner critic’s words, try saying it like this: “I’m sensing something in me saying __________________.” Mine often sounds like my father because it learned its language from him. So my sentence would be “I’m sensing something in me saying ‘who do you think you are?’”
3. Say Hello: And then say hello to the one who is saying that. You’re not agreeing or disagreeing with what it says. You’re simply saying “Hello.” Try saying out loud, “I’m sensing something in me saying ____________ and I’m saying hello to it.”
4. Listen: Because inner critics are often worried, we want to invite them to let us know what they’re worried about. We can do that by saying, “Might you be worried?” And then listen to its response. When I sense the part of me that says “who do you think you are?”, it lets me know that it is worried I’ll get bigger than other people are comfortable with. For it, that means I’ll get attacked or hurt somehow.
5. Let it Know You Hear It: Gently let your inner critic know you sense what it’s worried about. You’ll get a sense of relief just from IT finally being able to let you know why it is worried.This is just a beginning. As you practice responding to Inner Critics with compassion and confidence, you’re far less likely to get taken over by them and far less likely to feel bad about yourself.

Here’s the powerful truth:

Every inner critic is trying to save you.They’re just so worried something bad will happen to you that they talk to you in a way that leaves you feeling terrible. But you can turn that around when you know how to respond to them. Lasting change comes from how you relate to yourself and everything you feel.