“The reason it is hard to love yourself is because you cannot walk away from yourself. You have to sit within your skin through every painful emotion, every second of disgust and still find pieces of yourself to love through the wreckage.
This is why loving yourself is an act of revolution. It is telling yourself you deserve love even in the places you do not think are worthy love.”
Today I gave up On healing my trauma I gave up On practicing the skills To become whole Today I gave up On evolving Into that ever elusive Better version of myself Today I submitted To the wound of love I stopped pointing at it Looking at it Soothing it Tweaking it Fixing it Finessing it Hiding it Polishing it I stopped this game of separation I crawled inside the wound And spread it open I decided to wear it like a gown I accepted my total and utter Failure To be anything else But me
I no longer pray— now I drink dark chocolate and let the moon sing to me.
I no longer pray— I let my ancestors dance through my hips at the slightest provocation.
I no longer pray— I go to the river and howl my ancient pain into the current.
I no longer pray— I ache, I desire, I say “yes” to my longing.
I no longer pray as I was taught but as the stars crawl onto my lap like soft animals at nighttime and God tucks my hair behind my ears with the gentle fingers of her wind and a new intimacy is uncovered in everything, perhaps it’s that I’m finally learning how to pray.